Author Archives: EJ Lavoie

About EJ Lavoie

Writer and independent publisher with website www.WhiskyJackPublishing.ca

MY TEETH ARE STRONG

Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land . . . This sentiment comes to mind because I can hear the harvesting machinery ravaging the bush just across the lake from our home. … Continue reading

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PEACE COMES DROPPING SLOW

I frequently tramped eight or ten miles through the deepest snow to keep an appointment with a beech tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines. God, I wish I’d written that. More to the point, … Continue reading

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SO, CROWN ME!

Not without right. So reads the motto on the Shakespearean family’s coat-of-arms. It is the case that William, and his father, John, applied to the Garter King of Arms for an armorial bearing to flaunt their noble antecedents. Some scholars … Continue reading

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HOLY SPIT!

Fuddle duddle! In February 1971, Prime Minister P.E. Trudeau admitted to the press that he had “mouthed” something like those words during an exchange in the House of Commons. Montrealers have always been connaisseurs of blue language. Today, as you … Continue reading

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HOW TO BOOST TOURISM : A FABLE

A definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein couldn’t have said it better. We, the residents of Goshen and the rest of the Northwest, face a bleak future. We have … Continue reading

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A TASTE OF HOME

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone. This piece of wisdom is shared by General Al Capone and the gangster Rick Hillier, or have I got that backwards? … Continue reading

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HOW THE SMIRK STOLE CHRISTMAS

I – Ka-Ching-a-Ching               anyone lived in a pretty how town               (with up so many floating bells down) (1) And how the Smirk hated Anyone, and how he hated pretty How Town! And there were how so many How … Continue reading

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AXL, PLATYPUS, AND APPLE TURNOVERS

He was unshaven, ungroomed, and most unlikely unwashed, so I pulled over, cracked the window, and asked him how long he had been hitching. Since yesterday, he said. He had stopped thumbing at 5:00 o’clock, and resumed at 9:00 this … Continue reading

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IN SYNC WITH SELWYN (Chapter 6 of 6)

Red Ochre According to Selwyn, in 1957, when he was almost 50 years old, “I finally discovered what I wanted to do when I grew up.” In the meantime, he had left his high school teaching job, and made a … Continue reading

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IN SYNC WITH SELWYN (Chapter 5 of 6)

Bushed “Packing on the Pic was, well, no picnic.” So began Selwyn’s tale of swamps that proved to be the bane of his so-called “summer vacation”. He had landed a job with General Timber Company, packing supplies into bush camps … Continue reading

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